Sunday, February 16, 2014

Notebooks and photo albums

The darkness creeps along an icy road
Shattered lights seep, lost in ebbs and flows
Of blackened pot holes and washed out dashes, so old,
And worn from years of tormented tears, I’m told,
They drop from the skies like buckets so cold,
Blood and sweat ruptures from balloons, to mold the streets
And they now resemble the red cheeks, of sweet innocent girls, they weep,
Until the pain subsides for just a moment
As the loss is forgotten, memories open,
And they seem real, it seems right, you want to steal
The picture from the paper, the silhouette is in sight,
And you watch as the clay hardens to touch, to feel, relive the same smiles
You remember from that frozen December field, that night
The crash was heard miles away
Breaking bones and shattering hearts, they say.

I sit and I wish I was there
But my fear was lost in the chaos, panic attacks, you’re lonely stare.
Emptiness I couldn’t resist.
It used to put the sheep back to sleep and I persisted to believe this,
Back when I thought happiness was sign of weakness.

Soldiers march on in war
Much like ants hunger for 10 times more
Than what they should actually carry, they work
And ignore the storm that approaches
A certainty of washed out homes, torn from
Tiny rivers filling the holes, drowning
Millions of innocent working class drones.
And I watch as it happens in silence, no moans,
I am so interested in the madness
I pray that the oceans do the same to us,
Just to see if I scream
When the reaper touches my hand,
Or if coping with fits of depression has desensitized
Me from the ending that we are all going to have,
The fate that hangs like a question mark over even the young, the loved,
The happy, the numb, the dumb, the blind, the innocent and the deprived,
The intelligent and the criminal mind, the talented and the wasted life,
The artistic and the selfish alike,
And we all walk like busy bodies in a cage, a den,
We hate each other for differences even though our lives depend
On those same journalistic questions that pen the who, the what, the where, the how and the when.

Silliness creates giggles, self-medicated to cure loneliness,
Forgive and forget
Because we all need friendship
In a world where death is the only constant.
She sweetly kissed me with compliments
And I said goodnight,
She walked off into the waning light
And that was the moment,
that was the moment
I broke free from my pain.
I learned to cope, to live, to crave
The small victories and save
Anyone that ever felt insane,
That was also the moment when the intense weight on her world subsided
In silence, no cries, no bitching, no notes,
She just had enough, was sick of being tough and gave up,
And even though I know she could never be saved,
I only wish I was there, still to this very day.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Insomnia-tic sheep

Polished shoes.
Fancy hats.
Jackets and martinis.
Classy and yet lonely.

Sleep is a dream,
But used to burning eyes.
Sex is real,
But imagine one-night stands
and no feelings.
A drain, a bore, unadventurous 
and decreasing.
I just don't care anymore.
Just another reason, a lesson.

A person doesn't even know they
mean the world to you.
Their sadness is a knife,
Their smiles, their laughs, a crush.
So I continue on a road to nowhere,
Knowing nothing will ever come to pass.
But in a moment of weakness,
I think of them.
Yes I lust, but I also trust
and I feel that their drug,
is what will put the sheep
back to sleep.